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Turn-of-the-Century Wedding | The Ceremony | Choose Your Dream; Marry Your Friend "Kurt’s brother was working at a restaurant we represented," says Laura, a Manhattan publicist. "He invited me to his Christmas party, and Kurt was there." Kurt called the next day and asked Laura if she wanted to go on a date the following night. They started seeing each other frequently from that point on. "That was over five years ago, and we’ve been married over two."
They were at The Boulders resort in Carefree, Arizona in the springtime. "We were on the patio of an adobe house in the Sonoran Desert, and I proposed at sunset. "The first words out of Laura’s mouth were, ‘Can you please repeat that?’ But she did say ‘Yes’ on the spot." They got up at dawn the next morning to celebrate, and went ballooning. "Here we were 5,000 feet above sea level," says Laura, "and I was thinking, ‘I just hope I live long enough to tell people we got engaged!’ " The Gown "It is a remarkable production to actually have the wedding and get all the people there," says Kurt, "and to deal with the personalities of everyone involved: the hair, the make-up, the florist, the band. It is like putting on a show." They had a seven piece swing band and chose a photographer with a photojournalistic style. "I didn’t want a lot of set-up shots," explains Laura. "I wanted to go to the cocktail hour and not waste the day having my picture taken. But in retrospect I would have done more set-ups, because I spent a lot of time putting on this production! We did get beautiful photos though." back to top Turn-of-the-Century Wedding Thinking of her wedding day, Laura has several words of advice. "Try not to neglect eating well," she says. "I think a lot of women, by choice or inadvertently, lose weight before their weddings. Try to remember through all the plans to keep eating well, and try not to run yourself down." "Get a lot of sleep up until two days before the wedding," says Kurt, "because by then you are not sleeping. Get everything done beforehand. There is a lot of additional stress because you’re also packing for your honeymoon. But it was wonderful to go through the event and have it coordinate so easily. "Definitely have someone shoot the wedding on video, so that when you get on the plane you can watch it. Laura didn’t even know. We got on the plane and I surprised her with the video." Seeing His Bride "It was a wonderful moment, with everything we had planned coming together. It is a very lucky feeling to get everything done and assemble everybody. Then in the blink of an eye you’re at your own party. "You have to imprint that moment in your mind. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience that is really special." back to top Creating Their Ceremony They also chose people to do readings. "We had readings from the Old Testament and the New Testament. Kurt’s dad also read a beautiful poem, ‘Love’s Philosophy,’ by Percy Bysshe Shelley. "The other magical moment was when we were leaving. We had a car waiting outside and all our guests convened at the door. It was a cacophony of goodbyes and waves and good wishes and hugs and kisses and smiles. "We got in the car and it started pouring rain. My mother said it was like God held it back all day long." A Balinese Honeymoon They stayed at the Amankila in Bali. They had their own little pool outside the room, and the night they arrived it was filled with lotus flowers. "So we immediately got into the pool and swam around with the lotus flowers," says Laura. "There was Balinese music playing in the background. "Then our friend who lives in Hong Kong sent over a bottle of champagne, very good timing, and we started sipping. It was something out of a silly romance novel. It couldn’t have been more perfect. That set the tone. The whole trip ended up being that perfect." After the Amankila, for a change of pace, they also stayed at the Four Seasons in Bali. "Then we took a little detour from our plans and went to the island of Java, to another Aman hotel, Amanjiwo, where they were lovely enough to bump us up to the presidential suite, and proceeded to wait on us hand and foot. "We climbed a 2,000 foot mountain in Central Java. It was hot and I am not a hiker, but when we got to the top of the mountain, the staff was waiting with cold towels on a tray. It was incredible." Kurt planned the whole honeymoon. "We were gone for about two weeks, so I tried to come up with a couple of different flavors. We stayed six nights at the first place, which was absolutely perfect because it was right on the water." Music Marketing, Publicity, & The Baby "I have to be self-motivated to have my life happen. The wedding was a defining moment, but I would say that the birth of our child three months ago was really the defining moment. Having a child helps you sort out what is important from what’s not." Laura has been working for the last five years in public relations. "It's a very social job, very stressful. I’ve represented antique dealers, architects, doctors, authors, and non-profits, and also handled a lot of charity events. It can seem glamorous, but it is a lot of work as well. "Now I am at home with our little baby. Motherhood is the most demanding work of all, but it has been the most meaningful. I’ll decide when I am ready to go back into the professional world, but probably not too soon. He coo’s at me and it melts my heart." back to top Choose Your Dream. Marry Your Friend "Respect the feelings of others, but go with your heart, not with what you think is expected of you. And also," she adds, "respect your fiancé during the process. I was challenged by Kurt’s extreme interest and desire to help with the planning, but I wasn’t sure how to deal with it. So remember that he is getting married, too." When it comes to the marriage, Kurt says, "Marry your friend. It will make all those processes you have to deal with life, family, tragedy so much easier." Time For Each Other "You may assume you know what your spouse is thinking, but that’s not necessarily the case. Also, spend some quality time together. Sometimes you need to turn the phone off and do whatever it is that makes you a couple and makes you happy. "With a new baby you have obligations with your families. You’re taking care of the child 24 hours a day, and at night you are tired. Then the grandparents want to see the baby on the weekends. You have to be strong and take time for each other as a family, because you are a unit. "I think the most important thing in any marriage or relationship is open communication," says Laura. "You have to be comfortable and confident with each other, able to express your feelings at the right time and in the right way. "Also, you have to appreciate each other on a daily basis. The other day I called Kurt at his office and thanked him for cutting up a melon. It sounds silly, but sometimes with the baby I don’t get a chance to eat, and Kurt has really been helpful." "It’s about teamwork," agrees Kurt. More ... Real Weddings
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