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Wedding Day | Tuxes & Bows | At The Altar | Gifts, Music, Chocolate | The Wedding Cake | Wedding Secrets "We met at a restaurant on Park Avenue South and 27th Street," says Susan Reische. "It was a Wednesday night, a night you prefer to stay inside and relax, and a friend invited me to dinner. Something just said, ‘Go out. Get your tail off the couch.’ "
Too Stunned To Speak "I was so stunned that I continued to talk to my friend Clark and just ignored Kirk. I thought, ‘I don’t want to get into something. I just don’t want to put out the energy.’ "But I was having a great time, and after a while I began talking to Kirk also." "I was attracted to her immediately," says Kirk. "I thought she was very engaging, very poised. "My friend Clark had invited me to come down for steaks that night, to meet some people involved in his summer share in the Hamptons. Before I let Susan get away, I checked with Clark to see if he had her phone number." This was in early 1998, and the topic of movies had come up. "Sue was maybe the only person on the planet who had not yet seen ‘Titanic,’ so when I called a few days later to ask her out on a date, I asked if she wanted to see it with me." "During the famous scene when the ship plunges into the water," recalls Susan, "I was so into the movie that I grabbed his hand. Then I just did not know what to do! "Here is a man I barely knew and I’m holding onto his hand in the middle of this dark movie theatre. ‘Should I let go? If I do let go, will he think I’m not interested?’ " "I liked it," says Kirk. The Proposal "It was December 21st. I had set up the whole ruse that this was going to be our big Christmas dinner because a lot of good restaurants are closed or have private parties on the holiday, and it's hard to get a reservation, but then at the last minute she cancelled!" "I was at work very late that night and he asked me to dinner. After saying I could go, I called and said, ‘No, I can’t.’ "Then again — just like what made me go out that Wednesday night when we first met — this little voice said to me, ‘Go for it.’ So I called back and said, ‘Keep the reservation. I’ll make it.’ "We were holding hands at the table after dinner," says Susan, "and all of a sudden I noticed his hand was getting hot. I said, ‘Oh no, you’re getting sick right before the holidays.’ " After the entrée, Kirk got down on one knee and proposed. "But I didn’t know which hand to put the ring on," says Susan. "It was a complete surprise! My immediate answer was ‘Yes,’ but because I didn’t know what hand to put it on, he had to show me!" The Gown "I modified the bottom, and it was made to my proportions exactly. I wanted a hint of sparkle for an evening wedding, so they designed beautiful antiqued beadwork along the top and bottom, coordinating it with the tops of my opera gloves and also with my tiara." A strapless A-line gown, it had silk twill that was wrapped horizontally along the bodice. "Horizontal lines are very unusual on a wedding dress, because women typically prefer vertical stripes. I thought it was a little different, so I went for it." Pre-Wedding Routines "I also wouldn’t advise doing anything different right beforehand. I was told, and I think it’s great advice, never to have a facial less than a week before your wedding because that could definitely hurt your skin. "But when I’m nervous I don’t eat, and I did lose some weight before my wedding. You are very busy. That’s why I wouldn’t add dieting to your list of things to do, because it will probably happen naturally. "If you have time on the morning of your wedding day," says Susan, "go for a massage. I was up very late after the rehearsal dinner, and the next morning I felt I had puffy eyes and couldn't take a nap, so I went to a local spa around the block for an hour-long massage. My eyes were closed the entire time. When I woke up, I felt completely energized." back to top Wedding Day
"We had a receiving line at the church, and then the guests and the wedding party just walked across Park Avenue. We even had some great New York City photos taken of us and the wedding party walking across the street. Everybody was served champagne almost immediately. So the cocktail hour started just 15 or 20 minutes after the ceremony. "We didn’t have the break of time a lot of couples have for photos. We didn’t interrupt the flow of events, and the guests seemed to really like that. "I was so happy to have the receiving line at the church," adds Susan, "We were able to make contact with every guest who wanted to see us. So when we went to our party afterwards, we could have a good time, mingle, and not worry about trying to see each and every person. We were in the moment the entire time. It was great." The Venue "The club’s art collection is incredible," adds Susan. "They have wonderful American oil paintings, including landscapes, portraits of presidents, and lots of interesting Civil War memorabilia. It lended a patriotic, American element to the wedding. "We used a variety of colorful wild flowers in our arrangements," Susan continues. "But we didn’t use any special lighting. The décor and the architecture spoke for itself." To add extra color to the dining room, each table was decorated with colored runners. "For centerpieces we used tall candelabras with 12-inch candles, plus four or five individual vases for flower arrangements at the base of each candelabra. ?Then we placed ivy and fruit around the base of each candelabra. It was gorgeous." back to top Wedding Day Problems: Tuxes, Bows, & More
"One groomsman was even given the wrong jacket. He ran to my apartment to borrow my tuxedo jacket. I stressed out about that more than I should have. Two of the five guys were given regular ties, when I had ordered a specific charcoal bow-tie. But at our hotel they were able to find regular black bow ties. The color was close enough that no one noticed.? Kirk wore a different outfit than his groomsmen, a white tie with tails. "One of my themes was blue bows," says Susan. "I tied them onto our programs and onto our favors, which were silver bells. But by the morning of the wedding, we had not finished all the tying!" Luckily, Kirk’s parents and a family friend volunteered to tie the rest of the bows onto the programs. "They finished two hours before the wedding started! So get help for things like that. Don’t think you can do everything. "Calligraphy is something people don’t often put on their ‘to-do’ list," Susan reminds us. "But book your calligrapher the same day you order the invitations, because it is a fine art, and there are a limited number of people in the business. "A month before I needed to get everything out I still couldn’t find anybody I really liked in Manhattan." She finally found the website of a woman in Wisconsin that included letters from people thanking her. "One of the letter-writers worked with me, so I called and got a very positive recommendation." Susan shipped her envelopes "to this unknown place in Wisconsin, not knowing whether or not they would ever come back." Amazingly, they were returned finished within three days. "She did them all beautifully. But that added stress. So if you want hand calligraphy, and it is beautiful, arrange for it in advance." Susan adds one more last-minute suggestion. "Don’t move the day before your wedding! I was living in an apartment two blocks from Kirk, so I decided to keep it until we got married, and since we were married on June 1st, I gave up my lease on May 31st. "So, as of the 31st, I had to get all my things out of the apartment, and I was moving throughout that entire two week period before our wedding! It was a little bit crazy." back to top Memories: At The Altar, A First Glance, & The First Dance
"That was definitely one of the most memorable moments," agrees Kirk. "I also would add another, when I first saw Susan coming into the church with her father. "There was no doubt in my mind that you were the woman I wanted to marry, and I was very happy. "But I was very nervous about doing our first dance at the reception," Kirk continues. They had taken a few ballroom dancing lessons and had given their song to the band. "It was an old standard, ‘More’ by Bobby Darin," says Kirk. "But they played it in a completely different tempo than what we were used to. "I was so nervous that I thought it was a disaster. But you couldn’t see Susan’s feet beneath her dress anyway, so it didn’t matter that our steps may not have been perfect. I just walked her around the ballroom floor." "Taking dance lessons gives you an idea for pacing," says Susan. "The most important part of ballroom dancing is your posture. As long as your posture is correct, no one looks at your feet. They’re watching you as you’re looking at each other. "So I would recommend taking at least one or two dance lessons to learn the basics. It’s a fun thing to do together. Our dance lessons were definitely a good experience." back to top Gifts, Music, & Chocolate
Kirk gave his groomsmen and best man soft black leather wallets, monogrammed for each person. "The wallets also had silver money clips on the side. "We wanted good, practical gifts everyone could use." "For placecards," says Susan, "we used chocolate bars." They had custom wrappers designed by the bride, humorously showing the history of their relationship. Instead of numbering the tables, "we named them after Manhattan landmarks, like Central Park, Rockefeller Center, Grand Central, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So no one felt that they were just a number. Each table was a famous place in Manhattan." "Nobody wants to be at the table with the highest number," adds Kirk. "We also gave out tiny silver bells with blue ribbons after we walked out of the church," says Susan. "Instead of using rice, everybody rang these tiny bells. Those were two themes of our wedding: music and chocolate. "When choosing your band," continues Susan, "make sure you are happy with the repertoire they present and the genre they specialize in, because even if they give you a 10-page list of songs and ask you to choose from that list, as our band did, it doesn’t mean they actually will play the songs you choose. Ours did not, but they were great anyway and the guests loved them, especially the horn section." For photography, they hired Joel Greenberg and Wendy Stewart. "We did an engagement photo shoot a few months before the wedding," says Susan. "That was a lot of fun. We had them taken on the street in SoHo. It was a cloudy day which was actually very good for black and white photos, and we were very happy with the results." back to top The Wedding Cake
Their cake designer called less than a week before the wedding and said, "The cake looks very sad." "I was at work, in the middle of a deal, so I arranged a conference call and got Sue on the line as well. "I said, ‘Sad is not a color. Is it brown?’ He said yes, but we had chosen a light blue ‘piping’ that matched the blue ribbons we’d used for various things." "So we changed the piping to white," says Susan, "to contrast with the brown cake. In the end it worked out. The sad cake became happy. "We had something else that was a little different," she continues. "Instead of a guest book, we took one of our engagement photos, blew it up to poster size, and mounted it on a white board. Everybody signed their names around the border and offered their best wishes." After the wedding, they framed it. "And now we have it hanging on our wall, so we see it every day. It’s a wonderful memory." They registered at Michael C. Fina and Bloomingdale’s. "There’s one gift we love, the quilt. "It’s funny because we got the quilt from the Logans, the family of the mutual friend who introduced us," continues Susan. "It’s a golden brown, and we use every day. It’s one of those unexpected gifts that is beautiful and functional." Another special gift was the honeymoon. "Kirk’s parents gave us a wonderful honeymoon on the Amalfi Coast and Capri. We went for two weeks and it was magical: the scenery, the history, the people, and the food. There was always something to do, yet you could relax and just enjoy." "We stayed at the same hotel in Capri for seven nights before going to the next place, which was great because we were able to decompress and calm down from the wedding," adds Kirk. "From Capri we went on day trips back to the mainland to see Pompeii and Naples, and it was nice to come back to the same place and not have to pack and move on to the next spot. After Capri, we stayed in Positano and Ravello, and finished the trip in Rome." Marketing & Law "I’m learning to make a lot of exotic dishes, using advanced utensils and food combinations. It definitely helped during the Holidays." Kirk is an attorney. "I’ve been at the same law firm for six and a half years now, so my job really hasn’t changed since the wedding. I work in insurance company mergers and acquisitions, which was a bit slower than usual this spring. So I was able to help with some of the wedding planning more than I might have, had I been just out of law school starting my job." back to top Secrets For A Successful Wedding
"I’m really into music," says Kirk, "and I think you need to get a really good band. A good party starts with the band. If everybody likes the music, they will get up and dance. "Make sure your photographer knows who your family members are. And if you want wedding portraits done, specifically tell him or her which ones to take." "Also, stay in the moment as much as you can," says Susan. "During your ceremony, turn around and look at everybody at your wedding. Get that imprint in your mind. Even at the reception itself, it’s very loud, there’s music, and everybody wants to talk to you, but take a step back and just observe. Have some of your own personal quiet time to look at everything going on around you. "I did that a few times," continues Susan, "and I still have those scenes in my mind. Those images are not going to be captured on your video or in your photos. They’re your own memories." "Don’t get bogged down by little things," Kirk continues. "Sometimes you might want to say, ‘Don’t do this’ or ‘Don’t do that.’ I’ve made it a habit to never start a sentence to Sue with ‘Don’t.’ I never want to be one of those couples who are always telling each other what to do and what not to do." "Getting some quiet time with each other is important as well," adds Susan. "You don’t always have to be talking constantly, especially here in Manhattan where the apartments are not large and you’re in the same room together. Just having quiet time is important, because you’re able to say a lot more and be in touch with the other person, with their emotions and their energy." "This may not be a secret to a successful marriage," says Kirk, "but before you decide to marry someone, go on a trip to a new environment and see how you get along when you’re together for several days in a row. "If someone is a good traveling companion, they’re probably a good companion all around. "Both sets of our parents are still together," adds Kirk, "which is somewhat rare these days, and they both have very good relationships. As a child growing up, you learn from observation about what to do, what not to do, and how a marriage works." "We’re both smart individuals who have goals, and we have similar values. I really value Kirk as a person and also as a friend." |
