It was December when Jason (my then boyfriend and now fiance) and I went to Napa Valley to spend the holidays with his family, whom he hadn’t seen in over a year.
I was excited to meet everyone close to him and to see the place where he had grown up, but I was also very nervous.
You've Met The Parents. Now Meet The Goats.
After the first dinner, I was feeling very much accepted into the Kubicki clan. His parents and family were wonderful. I was truly enjoying myself in their company. Then Jason suggested we go out back to meet his goats.
His goats? I thought. Although a city girl, I was, of course, familiar with the concept of goats ... but to own them?
Oh well, I figured, they’re just goats. I am deathly afraid of chickens, but I can deal with goats. So off we went to meet the little creatures.
Behind us a door opened and I saw that his parents had decided to watch for themselves how our meeting was progressing.
Bravely I went through the gate. The goats stared at me with evil eyes and then, as if they had come to some sort of a conclusion, they charged!
I screamed and turned, trying to run back to the house. It was dark and I didn’t see a pile of branches, which suddenly twisted around my ankle and down I went.
Jason and his parents turned up to my rescue, pushing the goats away. Jason picked me up, and as I hugged him I realized that whatever it was I had landed in was now being spread onto his shirt. I immediately figured out what the mystery substance was ... the smell gave it away.
They all thought this was incredibly funny and insisted the goats were giving me a friendly welcome. But Jason’s parents also wanted to ensure I was okay.
"Here, just give them peanuts," said Jason’s dad, offering a handful. I would have rather fed a starved lion than go back to the goats, so I politely rejected the offer.
Jason’s dad entered the gate and the goats came up to him, gently scooping the peanuts out of his hand and making all sorts of cute noises. Fakers, I thought, I know what you are about.
As we walked back to the house, I sneaked one more look at the beasts — there they stood at the gate, giving me the evil eye again as if to say, "We’ll get you."
Dirty and smelly, I feared what kind of sight I must be. As we walked in, a rush of people came out. The rest of the family had come over to meet "Jason’s girl."
"I ... I had a little adventure with the goats," I said, red as a beet. I can usually find a way out of any situation, but this was beyond me. My family, with very strict European etiquette, would have died at the sight.
The Most Embarrasing (of all-time?) Proposal
Jason pulled me close and said, "This is Anna — the woman I hope to marry soon." He kissed me.
And then he did the most incredible thing. He got down on his knees in front of the entire family, took my not-yet washed hand in his, and as my head was spinnng at the speed of light said, "I know this is crazy timing, but Anna, will you marry me?"
In shock and still embarrassed, I realized that on top of my carousel of emotions, I was extremely happy and that he must truly love me.
"Yes." Everyone cheered and rushed to give us congratulation hugs. The smell stopped them mid-step.
As we excused ourselves to go clean up, Jason kissed me and said, "I plan things so well that I even got us some private time right now."
"Perfectly executed, my love." I smiled. "But as for the planning, please let me take care of the wedding!"
I emerged from the bathroom ready to be ridiculed. With Jason at my side we entered the living room.
"I’m so happy for you guys!" were the first words spoken. They came from Jason’s mom.
"This is absolutely great!" said his dad, as they both came up to hug us. In an instant everyone was up and hugging.
Jason’s father brought out a bottle of wine from the very special reserve that he himself had made many years ago. We all raised a toast. I was thrilled and felt only love around me.
It’s easy to play the part of the model "daughter-in-law-to-be" when you’re on your own turf, in charge of the situation. It’s easy to be accepted and to accept people into your life when everything goes as planned. Well, there was no plan here. This was as spontaneous and surprising as things get. I believe that this is when you truly know that you’re with the right person, for the right reasons.
When I imagined getting engaged, I always pictured a planned out occasion in a nice, controlled environment, like a fancy restaurant or a secluded place. I pictured myself nicely dressed, looking as grown-up and classy as the situation, in my mind, called for.
It is with thanks to that mental image that, when the moment actually came, I knew that I was saying "yes" for the right reasons. Amidst the chaos of the situation, the truth was Jason didn’t need me to look pretty and smart; he wasn’t waiting for things to be ‘perfect.’ Instead, he asked me to be his wife when I was simply being me. Scared of goats, city girl, me.
Knowing that we love each other for who we are was always a key part of our relationship. But to know that his family also accepted me, just as I was, at a time when I was least prepared and definitely not at my best, was genuinely special and unforgettable.
