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Intimate Profile:
Jennifer Dempster & Chris Fowler

First Meeting: “It was at the ESPN Christmas party.”

The Proposal: He proposed on a trip to Paris, while they were sitting on the terrace of their hotel room overlooking the city’s streets and boulevards, sipping their morning coffee in their bathrobes.

The Gown: Lazaro.

Venue: Oheka Castle.

Honeymoon: Africa.

Backgrounds: A former dancer, she hosted ESPN-TV’s daily exercise show ‘BodyShaping,’ in production from 1990 to 1998 and now on re-runs (weekdays, 7:00 am). Now she hosts a recreational travel show for the Resorts Sports Network. He has worked at ESPN for the past 16 years, most notably hosting ‘College GameDay’ (Saturdays in the Fall, 10:30 am).


Photography:
Portraits-Rick Bard
Wedding-Marquee

Intimate Profile:

The TV Fitness Host & The Sportscaster

The Perfect Gown | Catch a Breath | Splitting Decisions | Your Photos | Special Toasts | Wedding Secrets

"Are you single?" she was asked. Our bride (who had not yet met her husband), said yes, and found herself invited to a Superbowl party. "Only later," says Jennifer Dempster, "did I realize that Chris was supposed to be there."

"Nobody told me I was going to be fixed up," says Chris Fowler. "So I just blew the party off and didn’t go."

A year went by. "We were both at the ESPN Christmas party, and after a little chardonnay I walked up and said, ‘Hi, I’m Jennifer. I think we’re supposed to meet.’ "

For their first date they went to Radio City for the ESPY’s, the ESPN sports awards show. "It was black tie, and after we sat down, an ex-boyfriend of mine took his seat, which was right next to ours. It was an interesting first date, but we had a lot of fun."

They saw each other only once a month until the following year. "We were traveling, so it was a slow process," says Jennifer, "but it worked out well that way. I wasn’t much of a dater and it gave me time so I wouldn’t jump in too soon."

A Proposal In Paris
About a year and a half later, they went to Paris to see their friend, Lance Armstrong, who was competing in the Tour de France. "I knew I was going to propose to her during that trip. I just didn’t know when.

"She had probably just given up, because we’d already been on a lot of trips and each time her friends had said, ‘Expect a proposal,’ but it never happened."

Saturday they ran into heavy traffic and missed that stage of the bike race. "We ended up having to carpool with a couple of friends back to Paris. It was just a long, fruitless day."

"We spent five hours looking at beautiful sunflowers," says Jennifer, "but it should have been just a two hour trip. He said to me, ‘I feel so badly because you could have stayed in Paris with your friend.’ I said, ‘Honey, I’m always happy as long as I’m with you.’ "

"She was such a good sport about a really lousy day. We came back and once more I thought about how she could hang in with almost anything, keep her sense of humor, and never complain.

"I also had the ring in the hotel safe which we were sharing and I didn’t want her to stumble upon it. So I decided to propose the very next day, Sunday morning, which was the final day of the Tour de France.

"We had room service, and we were sipping coffee in our bathrobes on the terrace."

"We went back to sleep," says Jennifer, "and when we woke up the coffee was still hot. I said, ‘Life is good, the coffee’s still hot.’ He came closer, put his arm around me, and said, ‘You know what I want to do?’ And I asked, well, you know what I asked.

"But he said, ‘No, I want to get married.’ I think I hyperventilated a little bit. It happened so quickly. But I didn’t think it was thought-out and that there was a ring. Then the box came. I was nervous and shaking. I opened it up and closed it right away."

The Ring: Uniquely For Her
"It was just what she wanted, even though we never had a conversation about the ring. It was one of those lucky meant-to-be things."

"The shape is what I always wanted and yellow is my favorite color, so the yellow diamond was special."

"If guys realized how much women have thought about their engagement ring and how particular they can be about this piece of jewelry, they’d be paralyzed, unable to buy one on their own."

"We do drop hints," says Jennifer. "We’ll say, ‘Did you see her ring? Well, that’s really not my style.’ But it is a scary moment. You may have different tastes, and this is the first time he’s making such a major purchase for you on his own."

"I had bought diamonds for Jennifer before from one particular dealer in the diamond district, so I had built up a trust with him before I made this bigger purchase. He told me to go to Tiffany’s and look at rings to get an idea of what she would like.

"You don’t want anything to spoil the pleasure and the warm feeling of buying a ring," Chris continues. "So if you can trust the business side by having dealt with a jeweler beforehand, it frees you to pick out something she would love. Otherwise, you might feel you’re being taken.

"If you don’t have a sense of her taste in jewelry, or if you haven’t gone shopping for earrings or necklaces before, then you don’t know whether it’s too understated or too splashy a setting, if it should be gold or platinum, and if it’s gold, whether it should be yellow or white. I knew what she liked, so it was a nice surprise for her."

A Tour de France Championship & The Perfect Gown
"Then Lance won the Tour de France," says Jennifer, "which was amazing."

"We were invited to the victory party at the Musée d’Orsay for the cycling team," says Chris. "They’ve won two times since, but this was their first. To us, it was like our own ‘private engagement party,’ and the people at our table toasted us as well."

They went back again this year. "It’s nice to have our engagement associated with an event," says Chris, "because now we celebrate it as an anniversary and go back to Paris."

Having been on television for the past decade, Jennifer has become friendly with stylists, designers, photographers, and others whom she might have called on for her wedding, but she decided not to work with anyone she knew. "I’m sensitive to others, and I needed to be able to say, ‘This or that isn’t working.’ "

When it was time to select her gown, she tried on many different dresses. "Sometimes salespeople, and mothers, can be pushy. I’d walk out of the dressing room and my mother would say, ‘No,’ before I’d even looked in the mirror!"

Jennifer offers a bit of advice when looking for your dress. "If you bring your mother, always bring a third or fourth person. Finally I tried on this one dress, walked out and looked in the mirror. All of a sudden it got very quiet in my mind.

"I put on the veil, turned around and looked at them. If you feel it, they feel it too. I had no idea at the time, but it was the same dress Chris had picked out of a bridal magazine months before. The dress was very simple. It was designed by Lazaro."

Bridesmaid dresses require other considerations. "You have an idea of what you want, but you really need to think about the girls. They have to be comfortable and have fun. They might have different body types and they might feel more comfortable in certain styles.

"Go with them when they try the dresses on. Maybe get dresses in the same color but let them wear different styles. Don’t make it tough on them."

Health & Beauty
Jennifer tried out different hairstyles ahead of time. "I went to the salon several times just to make sure we would get it right." On one occasion she also made sure to go for a couture fitting right after getting her hair done to confirm that her hairstyle would fit her gown.

"For makeup, you also need to go several times. The most important thing is to look like yourself. Work with people who are kind, caring, and honest.

"Don’t make any drastic changes as far as diet and exercise go. You’ll be celebrating a lot, but if you go light on the alcohol it does make a difference. Try to eat healthfully and keep up with your regular fitness routine," says the fitness show host.

"There are exercises that target certain parts of your body. Depending on the style of your dress, you might want to emphasize the back of your arms or your shoulders. And if you are wearing a big skirt, you don’t have to worry so much about what’s underneath!"

"Don’t forget to eat, though," adds Chris. "A lot of brides, and even bridesmaids, get too wound up to eat. Their blood sugar can get low and they don’t feel well. You want to feel good."

Catch A Breath & Then Plan
"It can be such a wonderful time when you first get engaged," says Jennifer. "Every couple should take a trip together right after that, even if it’s just a weekend getaway."

She reminds us that as soon as your friends and family know you are getting married, the planning begins.

"Everyone asks, ‘Where are you going to get married? What dress are you going to wear? What are you going to do?’ You have to go here, you have to go there!

"Instead you want to just take those initial moments of your engagement and enjoy them. It’s important to sit back a little before you start all the planning.?

"Remember that it’s really for you," says Chris. "If you have to, keep the engagement a secret. Though it’s hard to do, it can keep the stress off for awhile."

"It’s work putting together a wedding!" says Jennifer, "take some time for the two of you first."

Their Venue: A Childhood Dream
Chris is from the Colorado mountains and Jennifer is a New Yorker, so somehow their first thought was to get married on a beach.

"Then we saw a picture of Oheka Castle, which had been a military academy that was near my home when I was growing up. Now it is a wedding site. Chris was busy working so I went with my mom to check out venues and as soon as I walked into Oheka Castle, I felt at home."

When you are looking for your venue, see how well they treat you when you go for the interview. "Some places kept us waiting 15 or 20 minutes, and then were all business.

"But when I walked into Oheka, everyone was smiling and a waiter asked my mom if he could get her something. We met Kelly Melius, who was so gracious. We were sitting in a castle, but we felt at home.

"The grounds are gorgeous, and I knew if it rained we could have the wedding inside and I would still be happy. At that moment, and because it had so much meaning for me, I knew I wanted our wedding there.?

"It looks like a French chateau," adds Chris. "It’s classic and timeless. You feel transported to another time and place."

"When my mother made the appointment she said, ‘Does this phone number sound familiar?’ It turned out to be the same phone number we had in the house where I grew up!"

"Though these are fundamentally business transactions," says Chris, "if the staff at the venue treats you in a cold, business-like manner while making their pitch, imagine how they are going to treat you after they’ve gotten your money and it’s the day of your wedding.

"Oheka was so warm, we knew they would be that way throughout the process, and they were."

"Don’t try to rush through the planning," says Jennifer. "Try to make it fun. It’s business, but if you can talk to each other and work it out, it will be enjoyable."

The Menu
"We knew a lot of our guests liked wine," says Chris, "so we wanted to make sure their needs would be met. Sometimes a caterer’s wine selection isn’t as broad as you would like. But you can bring things in or they can get what you want at better prices."

"You have to be comfortable with your caterer and have open lines of communication," says Jennifer. "But they have their limits, so you have to make certain choices."

As Chris observes, it’s easy to go overboard. "You want to have enough, but you don’t want tons of food sitting there untouched."

Jennifer reminds us that some venues commonly donate leftovers to charities like City Harvest which deliver the food to homeless shelters. "Also," she adds, "think about what your guests will like, not just about your own tastes."

"For example, we didn’t want carving stations," says Chris. "But a lot of people love them, so we had them set up for the cocktail hour. People were wondering if there was a sit-down dinner at all because we had so much pre-dinner food."

They printed their menu and placed one copy on each plate to let guests decide among the various choices of chicken, fish, and veal which they had selected.

Sharing Communication, Splitting Decisions
"When it comes to all the wedding day decisions," says Chris, "the temptation for the guy is to say, ‘I don’t care, you choose.’ But that’s the wrong way to put it.

"You might not care what kind of flowers you get. But there’s a way to say that while still showing interest in the celebration. You can say, ‘Honey, you’re the expert here, why don’t you make that decision?’

"You want to be a team. But it’s not necessary for each of you to be there for every decision. Decide what is important to each of you individually. For example, guys usually care about the band a great deal.

"Talk about what decisions you both need to be there for. Couples shouldn’t get caught up in feeling they have to make every single decision as a team.

"As a bride, go with your instincts," says Jennifer. "Everyone has different styles and many people will be giving you advice. Listen to what people say because they can be helpful, but in the end, trust how you feel."

"Ultimately," Chris concludes, "a guy just wants to see his bride walk down the aisle."

Solving Problems (Did We Mention The Stained Gown?)
"Not every moment unfolded in fairy tale fashion," says Jennifer. For example, when her dress finally came in she said, "Is this what I ordered?"

"It can look so different once it is in your size. So I changed the dress a bit. Don’t be afraid to do that.

"They forgot to order my bridesmaid dresses. Then they didn’t tell me that my dress hadn’t come in on time. You have to stay on top of all that."

Just four days before the wedding, at last, the dress was ready for her final fitting.

"I was so happy. The gown looked so great! Then I looked down and there was red smeared all over the dress!"

The seamstress had cut her finger and it had bled all over the front of Jennifer’s dress. "She took the gown and ran upstairs. I was left standing there in an oversized T-shirt, heels, and a tiara. I said to my sister-in-law and my friend Cathy, ‘Girls, start looking.’ I thought I’d have to get a new dress. But after 20 long minutes they got the stain out and it was ecru once again.

"We also had a lot of travel problems because there was a week of thunderstorms," says Chris. "There are things you can’t control, like weather, changing flight schedules, and lost luggage. Guests had trouble getting in and one of the groomsmen lost his bags. We had to find a tuxedo for him the day of the wedding!"

"Trust us, a sense of humor goes a long way, and in the end it’s all about the people," says Jennifer, "about being with each other, family, and friends.

"You want to plan well and stay on top of things, so when your wedding day arrives there’s not much to think about.

"Thankfully, we ended up with a true fairy tale wedding. The sun set over our ceremony in Oheka’s gardens, no one left the dance floor except to enjoy the delectable food, and at night’s end a full moon rose over the castle filled with family and friends."

Ask For The Photos You Want
"When we hired our photographer, I loved their sample photographs so much that I thought, ‘I don’t have to worry about the photography.’

They also gave us the option of going in beforehand to meet them and take studio portraits, but we decided not to do that because of schedules.

"We should have, and I also should have been very specific about what I wanted, because we ended up wasting time. But in the end, our pictures were beautiful."

"I also recommend not overlooking the candid shots," Chris says. "A lot of people just concentrate on portraits. Yet the woman who shot our candids in black and white was so gifted. She had a great eye and we got some really nice shots from the ceremony and the party. The black and white gave them a timeless quality.

"The wedding goes by quickly," he continues, "so in capturing it, the candids become as important as the portraits. You need to get someone who is specifically talented when it comes to candids.

"Even if you don’t want to hire a separate person, make sure your photographer will do both portraits and candids, and in both black and white and color."

The two television personalities didn’t want the cameras, lights, and microphones of a video. "But in retrospect," says Chris, "it would have been nice to have videotaped the speeches our friends gave, because they were the centerpieces of the ceremony."

Special Ceremonial Toasts, Extra Attention To Guests
During the ceremony they had their friends give speeches. "They were more like toasts, and everybody was laughing. They were very funny, yet very eloquent. So the ceremony was really personal and really fun."

"For one of the toasts we used the lyrics from a Metallica song," says Chris, "and I asked one of my friends to read them. That was an inside joke.

"The toast began, ‘According to the great American poet James Hetfield,’ who is the lead singer of Metallica, and several people burst out laughing. Everyone was looking around, as if to say, ‘I don’t know that poet. Should I?’ It’s okay to have some humor, some inside jokes that make it personal.

"The ceremony was the last thing we planned," he continues, "but it’s the most important. That’s when you are actually getting married. We wrote some vows and had lunch with the judge so he could get to know us."

"People loved the ceremony," says Jennifer. "I thought it was going to be the music that made it special, but it was our family and friends."

"There were some really special moments and it set a very nice tone," says Chris.

They paid extra attention to people who traveled to be at their wedding, making sure that when they got to the hotel they would find a note and a little gift. "You have to remember that traveling is expensive and can be exhausting as well," says Jennifer.

They also paid extra attention to the individual needs of all their guests. "Weddings bring up a lot of emotions for people," says Jennifer thoughtfully. "Some of your guests might be divorced, they might want to meet someone, or a wedding might remind them of something painful.

"We tried to think about those people, and to show them our appreciation for coming to be with us on our day."

Memorable Moments
"My grandmother’s name is Sunshine," says Jennifer. "She’s 87 years old. We played ‘You Are The Sunshine Of My Life’ and Chris danced with her."

"It was my own grandmother who introduced me to sports," says Chris, "and Sunshine is also a sports fan, so we talk games together."

"What I remember most is the ceremony," says Jennifer.

"Seeing you for the first time in your dress," Chris says, "walking down the aisle, that was my big moment. You looked amazing.

"The night before the wedding, Jennifer gave me a huge scrapbook she had made. It covered everything from our first date to all the trips we had taken together.

"It was very personal, things that wouldn’t make sense to anyone else. I laughed non-stop when I looked through it. It was just paper bags stuck together with things stuffed in or glued to them. It was great."

For their honeymoon they took a short trip to Turks and Caicos. "Her brother’s 30th birthday was the following weekend so we wanted to be back for that. Later in the summer we went to Africa. That was really our honeymoon."

In The Spotlight
"I’ve had the same job on ESPN television for the past 16 years," says Chris, who does ‘College GameDay,’ covering college football, basketball, the final four, the Kentucky Derby, and horse racing. "It’s a great job. I wanted to do this since I was 10 years old.

"I work from home, so it’s different now that we are living together. Even though I’m wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt, I’m still at the office.

"During the week I prepare for the show. It’s a lot of hours reading materials, making calls, and writing pieces for Internet columns.

"We hadn’t lived together except for two months before we were married, so it was an adjustment we had to make. Jen also had to adjust to the fact that even though I’m around, I can’t break away and spend time with her. You want to spend time with your wife and be a good husband. But I chose not to lessen my commitment to my work, because it’s important to me, to us."

"My life has changed a lot," says Jennifer. "I had been a dancer when I was younger. I worked behind the scenes for sports channels and was a host for QVC."

Then she hosted a show on ESPN called ‘BodyShaping.’ "I did that from 1990 to 1998 and now they air re-runs continually.

"So before we got married I was very busy. I was doing ‘BodyShaping,’ I had two infomercials, I was traveling, I was taking Chris on trips, and I was the health and fitness reporter for WCBS in New York."

‘BodyShaping’ stopped shooting in 1998 and then WCBS had a change of command. "All of a sudden, all the work I was doing stopped."

"It was almost a blessing because I was able to concentrate on planning the wedding, but then after the wedding it was a big change.

"I had always lived alone. We moved into a new apartment, I didn’t have my jobs anymore, people started calling me Jennifer Fowler, and the wedding, which was such a big deal, was over.

"Our relationship was wonderful, but those were major changes. You don’t want them to all happen at one time. You’ve got to keep your identity. That was really hard. You need support and open communication. Chris was so great."

"The first few months after the wedding can be turbulent," acknowledges Chris. "It’s a huge period of adjustment."

"You have to have a sense of humor," says Jennifer. "Brides: be prepared. Your wedding will go by quickly! It is in front of you your entire life and then so quickly it’s in the past. You almost mourn it a little bit. You need to be prepared for that and don’t give in to it."

Now Jen is hosting a recreational travel show for the Resorts Sports Network. "I also have a small part in the upcoming film ‘Marci X.’ I’m freelancing here and there, but not as aggressively as I used to. I’m getting back into it."

Secrets To A Successful Wedding ...
"Trust your instincts," says Chris. "When making decisions that seem so monumental, just trust yourself and remember what’s important to you."

"Do your research and be organized," adds Jennifer. "Have everything taken care of ahead of time. Find a venue that is going to be warm, inviting, and helpful.

"It is your day, but it’s also about the people you surround yourself with. So think of them. Put yourself in their position and make them comfortable. Show your appreciation. If your guests are happy, you will be happy."

"Be in the moment," says Chris. "Don’t miss it. There was an amazing full moon over the castle the night of our wedding. Somebody reminded Jennifer to just walk outside and look at it. That was good advice. Don’t forget to enjoy yourself."

"And stick together," says the bride. "That’s the person you’ll have the best time with, and that’s what it’s all about."

... And SecretsTo A Successful Marriage
"Marriage takes patience," says Chris.

"Plus communication and support,"? says Jennifer.

"When you get married, you haven’t been through every situation together that you’re going to confront," elaborates Chris. "We married a little later in life, so our personalities were more formed than if we had been 22 or 23, when I don’t think you really know who you are yet.

"We know who we are, which also means that we are more set in our ways. So patience and not overreacting to situations are key. There are bound to be a lot of uncharted waters, with new issues that you haven’t experienced throughout your courtship, engagement, and wedding. There are always surprises."

"Communication and compromise may sound trite," says Jennifer, "but they are so important.

"And a sense of humor! We're very different types of people but the one thing we have in common is a sense of humor. Laughing really gets you through.

"Also, don’t yell," she advises. "Nothing gets accomplished. Think before you speak."

"And if you really love each other, you don’t stay mad for very long," says Chris.

"We don’t fight," says Jennifer. "We have discussions. Then we move on and laugh about them later."

Featured Real Wedding: Jen & Chris at Oheka Castle

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Wedding photos: Marquee; Studio portraits: Rick Bard