"If your ceremony includes religious traditions, prayers or readings in another language, translate what is being said and explain the process and its symbolism. Consider including these explanations in your written program."
If your marriage is interfaith, acknowledge both religions. "Have your officiant say something like, ‘You are expressing to family and friends that you each consider your religious traditions important. You choose to share with one another both traditions in the years ahead.’ "
Rabbi Feller suggests involving family in your ceremony. "Invite a family member or close friend to read a poem or text that is meaningful to you. There’s an especially touching way of including both mothers. Have them light a candle together and hand it to their children, symbolically passing a united flame through the generations and binding the two families together.?
Your officiant can discuss options for honoring the memory of a loved one. "I usually say a few words about what they meant to the bride or groom. Then we take a moment of silence. This way you include them without putting too much of a damper on the celebration.
"If you have a wedding canopy, consider an alternate to flowers that represents your culture and family histories. Have family members each make a square and sew it into a quilt. If it's a chuppah, use a prayer shawl that has been passed through generations and mention its symbolism. An Indian couple can make a canopy of fabrics from India that have been in the family."
Rabbi Renée Feller
212.799.2012
