"Hiring a wedding consultant allows a woman to really enjoy one of the most memorable days of her life," says wedding planner Simone Martel of Martel Productions.

Simone Martel with flowers by MDH Decor (photo: Joan Jedell)

On your day, Simone observes, "You also need to be a host. Your energy needs to be on your guests, so you want to be as relaxed as possible. You don’t want to have to think about whether things will be delivered on time."

Wedding Day Visions
When Simone first meets with a bride, she asks questions that trigger as many thoughts as possible. "I like the bride to look at it from two different perspectives: First, looking forward, how do you envision your wedding? And secondly, how do you want to remember it in years to come?"

Different brides have different dreams. You may want your wedding whimsical and romantic, or elegant, or playful and fun. "It’s an opportunity for your own personal style to come out, not only as a bride, but as a couple."

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Decision #1: Choose Your Venue | Key Vendors | Seating & "Weather Control"

Decision #1: ChooseYour Venue
Do you want to stay in the city or go to the Hamptons? Do you want more elegance? How do you feel about hotel ballrooms? Are you more traditional or very cutting edge?

Certain people want to be completely original. "They have to be different, eccentric and creative.

Morgen Schickat and Drew Demann at the Forstmann Estate. (photo: Ron Lynch)

"I have files and files of venues, and I basically break it down by categories. The first thing you need to decide as a bride is where you are having the event, because everything really comes together around that."

She notes that your gown and the venue go together. "If you want a romantic gown, first choose a romantic place with a romantic ambiance. And of course make sure the venue can accommodate the number of guests you will have, and is available for the time and date you want.

"As soon as you focus on the venue, you know whether or not you need to hire a caterer, and how much decor you are going to require." Certain venues are far more elaborate, and you won’t need to do much with the space.

"Then we get into the budgetary items and start shaping the event."

Your Vision On Your Budget
People who are trying to save dollars need more guidance. With one wrong decision they can end up spending more money than they were anticipating.

To control costs, Simone helps brides think through issues they may not have considered.

"A loft may save you money, for example, but to make the space really beautiful you may have to put a lot more money into your decor budget."

With a loft, you may also have to rent chairs, tablecloths, silver, and so on. "Unles you budget carefully, it can become far more costly."

But some people select a loft site because they want their own special event. "They don’t mind if it’s complicated, in order to do something special for their guests."

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Decision #1: Choose Your Venue | Key Vendors | Seating & "Weather Control"

Selecting Your Key Vendors
Once you’ve selected your site, Simone shows you files on different vendors, from florists to photographers to bakers.

"Then we have lunch at the location, and I have the different photographers, florists, and caterers meet the bride."

Each different vendor gets an opportunity to talk to the bride and find out what’s important to her. "The florist asks if she wants the arrangements to be small and low. A lot of candles? Any draping effect? Is it in a cathedral? If it’s in a synagogue, what kind of chuppah? How dramatic? How simple?

Once the vendors submit their proposals, Simone evaluates how well they execute all that the bride wants. "Along with the price, you now have all the pieces of the puzzle.

"Sometimes you started with a certain budget for flowers and catering, but after getting the proposals you might stop and say, ‘I really like what he came up with here.’ All of a sudden someone gives you an incredible idea, so you shift things around.

"When you have people who reflect your style, who you feel comfortable with, you’re so much more at ease. Then you get to enjoy your day that much more, as do your guests."

Then the focus shifts to scheduling and making sure everything is executed month by month and week by week.

Production Schedule
Simone assembles a production schedule book to track each activity to completion. "I also encourage the bride to keep her own schedule with each of the main wedding categories, where she can document her vision and the ideas she gets from magazines and her various vendors."

She has the bride paste her magazine clippings in the book. "It’s so much easier to refer to something than to describe it. And it comes in handy when you meet with your vendors."

Once everything is decided upon, "you just have to stay on top of the invitations and make sure everybody is on schedule.

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Decision #1: Choose Your Venue | Key Vendors | Seating & "Weather Control"

Final Steps: Seating and "Weather Control"
Seating is always a dilemma. "People change their plans and call the day before to say they’re coming or not coming. Sometimes the bride handles all the RSVP’s, but I always ask, ‘Are there people you haven’t heard from yet? Perhaps you want to have your best friend make a few calls.’ "

Photo: Ron Lynch

You also have to be prepared for the weather, especially if it’s an outdoor wedding. A coordinator is always thinking about what could possibly happen.

“But you don’t want to stifle their creativity. You want to guide people to imagine what it is going to be like as a guest.”

How do you keep your guests moved, stimulated and involved? It is all in the details.

"There’s a life to a party, a rhythm. You want to take people to a certain place and to create harmony. Then you can take it to the next level, where you warm things and heighten the energy, but you have to be careful about how you pace it. Even though we planned to have speeches at our wedding, we said forget it, because people were having way too much fun dancing!

"You know when there is a kind of a thrill in the air? It’s the bride who is setting that tone. Her electrical charge is going to be the energy of the wedding.

"So take as much time as you can for yourself the week before, because you will be excited and nervous. Take a couple of days off from work, spend some time with your girlfriends or your family."

True Love
"As many weddings as I had done before," she says, "living through my own gave me an even deeper appreciation for it all. I didn’t look at it as my wedding. I looked at it as a celebration for my guests and my husband. I wanted to share the love we have with all the people in our lives, so my attention was really on the guests.

"What made my wedding special," says Simone, "is that I’m married to an incredible man. Some friends of ours got married in Venice just six months after we were, and we actually renewed our wedding vows!"

The challenge for Simone in putting together her wedding was creating an event where she could feel like a bride.

"To this day, I still hear my husband tease me about how I belabored over whether I wanted the bevel-edged invitation or the plate-edged invitation.

"At first I was even thinking about eloping and avoiding this altogether. But there were a lot of protests from people who wanted to join in our joy."

As she was planning, her husband asked her a very interesting question that she now asks all her brides.

"When I said I wanted to elope, he said, ‘That may be how you feel today, but think about how you want to remember your wedding a year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now.’

"I thought it was a great question, and it gave birth to how I wanted to remember my wedding."

Simone took herself through the first two steps of planning her wedding, but then hired a coordinator, "so I could be a bride the last two weeks. One thing we say around here is, ‘Be a guest at your party.’ Then there’s nothing for you to think about except taking care of your guests."

The night before the wedding, a good friend arranged a rehearsal dinner. "That is a very important part of the weekend because it is the first time many people are meeting each other."

Weddings — And More
"I’ve been lucky enough to work for wonderful events beyond weddings." They’ve done corporate parties, movie premieres, and charity events such as the Red Ball for the Children’s Advocacy Center in Manhattan.

"We recently hosted a bowling event for Inner City Games. It was a wonderful formula to raise money and get amazing feedback because people have more fun than they ever expected."

Simone’s mother used to throw elaborate parties. "When we were children, my sisters and I would get dressed up and help out at her parties for 200 to 400!

"The most exciting thing about doing events is seeing the smiles on everyone’s faces and seeing the thrill and the glow on the bride’s face.

"I feel privileged to participate, and to share that very intimate moment with them."